Avin a Good Time is a series here on Spent Glory where we drop the serious competitive approach, skip the idea of helping new players, and ignore altogether anything useful to the community and instead just have ourselves a good time. Gurzag and the Boyz approve, and so should you. This post will summarize the results of the community voting on the drinking contest proposed in the last article, which you can read here.

The Deathgorge and subsequently the Wintermaw were once occupied by Ogors who were run out by Greenskins and vice-versa, or whatever, and then eventually abandoned when Drakatoa the Living Avalanche came along. Now our heroes delve deeper in search of various frozen treasures – be they souls, masks, relics, or just a good scrap.

0-Wounders

So technically, Spinefin took the voting by a solid margin. Multiple comments like you’d expect such as “fish love to drink” and “traps don’t count”. However, Mark/Baconborne astutely noted that Spinefin has 1 wound, and it’s his move that is zero. As such, I’d like to declare Spinefin is DISQUALIFIED for missing weight, and therefore the title belongs to Bushwakka’s Trap.

1-Wounders

This one wasn’t close by any stretch. Multiple comments all boiled down to roughly the same concept: “Skritter would go on a warpstone fuelled drinking frenzy, while the Brimstone Horrors would extinguish themselves.”

2-Wounders

Multiple comments in support of Quiet Pock, such as:
“Let’s be honest the reason Pock is quiet is because Hexbane put that mask on him to quiet his drunken ramblings while on a witch-hunt”
“Ah Pock, seems such a sorry chap. I can totally imagine he drowns himself in whatever alcoholic liquid whenever he’s not burning heretics. He’ll need to put down his mask for that though, so he might prefer to drink hiding between his hounds.”
“Why do you think he’s so quiet? Pock drinks to forget and he has a very good memory. Memories of horrific burns and perpetual dead puppies.”

Strong Support for Enrik Ironhail, however, with some saying:
“Ironhail is the obvious favorite for being a dwarf, but he’d get too inspired by the idea of a drinking contest and then disqualify himself by joining the 3-Wounders.” Pock has seen some stuff, you know that liver is resilient at this point.”
“Ironhail just have to make sure that Thundrik is nowhere near during the competition. Otherwise, he could get inspired and subsequently be disqualified from the category.”

And lastly “Meanwhile, Moonface Nagz clearly should be called Shitfaced Nagz, he’s a madlad.”

3-Wounders

Snirk dominated the vote and the commentary.
“his mini is already drinking… and is used to being dizzy all the time”
“It might be necessary to restart the contest a few times when Snirk crashes into the table and everybody, again, but ultimately he’ll find a quiet corner to keep on guzzling.”
“the amount of calories this lunatic must burn to do what he does will burn that alcohol before it ever hits his blood stream”

4-Wounders

This one, being probably the biggest category by sheer number of potential fighters, had several community write-ins. That said, Gulcoch the Butcher did end up taking the vote, but I’ll share some general commentary:
“Gulgoch, going by gut size alone”
“Gulgoch THICC”
“If we’re talking drinking blood, then it goes to Ennias. But otherwise, Gulgoch clearly is drinking a ton to keep up that peak bod.”

The Galanghann voter made a strong argument: “He’s a spirit! In a tree! Of course Gal likes the strong stuff, aquavit, wodka, whatever you call it, nurturing both his soul and his woody body. Still standing strong after the other contestants are snoring comatosely on the floor, even then he’ll takes care to fill his amphora to the brim with extra booze for whenever there’s a dry spell. Just don’t call it ‘firewater’.”

As did the Skullgrinder Herx fan: “Have you seen the dad bod on this dude? you cant tell me this guy doesnt get drunk with his buddies every weekend. A gut like that tells me this man can drink”

5-Wounders

Vexmor was the winner here, and had some strong support in the comments as well.
“Vexy has more “practice” then anyone on this list
“I guess Vexmor really wants to drink himself into a coma after another horrible day with his awful colleagues, put the poor guy seems too big and too demonic to be really affected by the stuff.”
“My heart wants to say Ironskull, but I know the truth is that Vexmor is pounding brewskis all day.”

Gurzag got some support, and one person said he “is the only one with a stomach but without enough sense to know when to stop.”

Two Jedran commenters said that sadly he’s just not cut out for this kind of thing:
“He could put as many as he wants into his mouth, but gets disqualified when all of it pours out through his rib cage.”
“the dude is massive, and he doesnt have a stomach or blood, so it will just pour down his trap and splash all over the ground indefinitely”

6-Wounders

This one wasn’t even close. Blackpowder takes it with room to spare. You all said variation on:
“pirates’ reputation is not for nothing”
“I mean, he’s a pirate”
“Of course the pirate ogre wins. Duh. Also, in this category I feel a bit sorry for Mir Kainan who cannot take part in the contest because of his lack of, well, a facial aperture to put his drinks in.”
“Gorlok and Hrothgorn match each other 1 for 1, but eventually Hrothgorn runs out of ale to drink because the pirates stole all the barrels while he wasn’t looking.”
“this dude lives on a diet of Caribbean Rum and dead monkeys. He doesn’t even know what water tastes like”
“Blackpowder may not have the best warband, but he lives up to the pirate tradition. Hrothgorn needs to keep his wits about him, and Mollog sleeps to much… and I’m pretty sure Gorehulk doesn’t drink other than whatever blood he squeezes out of people.”

Wrap

That’s it for our inaugural ‘Avin a Good Time voting contest! I hear you loud and clear that you want another community ballot down the line:

“more of this pls ;)”
“Super fun, this! Hopefully not the last questionnaire in this category :-)”
“Great idea!”
“this was fun, love this fun nonsense stuff”
“Where’s the rum gone???”

So be on the lookout for another vote in the next few weeks – The Underworlds Underground boys will be nominating some Stormcast for the Sigmarlympics/Azyric Games and you’ll get to help us determine the podium. One last thing before I go, I want to leave you with the sagest advice this whole project brought to me:

“Garrek Gorebeard could drink them all under the table.”

If you’re interested to read other entries in this series, click here! See you in the next article!